Girly Girl: The Aftermath

Hey guys, sorry for taking so long to put this up! I'm a full time student and Ihave a job too.

I decided it would be a good idea to take a break from this to avoid finals interfering with my personality type.

I've learned a lot about what to do next time.

1. Have set goals to reach
   
2. Have an organized strategy for how to reach those goals
3. Do research on the subject I'll be
4. Set up how everything is meant to be beforehand
5. Make posts more organized and less lengthy
6. BE MORE ORGANIZED

When it comes to being girly I think the best way to simply describe it is that its like junk food: its great to indulge at first but later on it makes you feel like crap

I think I learned a lot about letting go of my pretentiousness and liking things I genuinely like. For instance, I can unflinchingly say I enjoy watching Tool Academy, though I can also unflinchingly say I hate Fashion Police.

The last night of being girly, I had to stop myself from planning my next outfit in my head. It was great to dress like a normal person but when I went to school I could tell people looked at me differently. Someone even asked me if I was sick!

After a few weeks, it began feeling like a crime to leave all my nice girly clothes in the closet to lie stagnant. Slowly but surely I began to wear modified versions of outfits/makeup from my girly days. Instead of going all out with accessories, foundation, and skimpy jackets, I minimized it to a nice shirt there and a little blush here.

I do wear makeup more often than before, and I even carry around a little makeup bag in my purse (I need to give that back!) but I use it whenever I have time, and its usually just some blush, mascara, and eyeshadow.


When I stopped the girly routine I also started a major relapse into internet and gaming addiction. Right now I'm simultaneously writing this blog and playing Pokemon Diamond on DS. I realized that all this routine is something I despise, and my nature is incredibly lazy. If there was nothing to hold me back, I think I would be sitting here playing Pokemon Diamond or surfing the internet forever!

My nails have suffered the most by far in this whole experiment though. They are so brittle from the fake nails!I used to be able to grow them really far out until finally my constant picking at the cuticles would cause a chip. Now they break whenever they feel like it!


I'll be starting a new experiment sometime in April. I want to do so many things but I just can't decide which one is best! All I know is that it can't interfere with my relationship with Noah and it can't be too costly. I already have a gym and tanning membership and my mom buys and cooks organic/free range/vegan/fair trade food so those costs would be covered. I was thinking of being athletic but I feel like my experiments aren't really delving into anything deep. If anyone has any suggestions let me know!

Day 30: The Last Day!!

Today I woke up at 6:30. I planned on giving this last day my all, but my raging hormones seemed to hold that back(PMS is a bitch).

Come hither?

I felt kinda down the whole day, and when I got home at 5:30 I took a nap until 8. I wanted to end this last day with a bang, but my biggest bang I got was spilling nail polish remover all over my laptop (hence the delayed post).

Removing my nails was a huge bitch; the toilet paper I was using kept rubbing into flakes and whenever I tried to tip some remover into the tissue I would miss and spill everywhere. Plus, I finally got so see just how bad of a job that manicurist had done on my nails.

My nails were misshapen and had unsightly grooves and craters. Not only that, but the nail polish didn't like coming off of these said grooves making my nails have red grooves and craters. I was very tempted to get acrylics all over again!

At least no one can see how bad they really look!

It was strange to know that I didn't have to plan an outfit for the next day, I was happy, but not as happy as I would have liked to feel about it. Just brushing my teeth and sleeping was amazing though! I didn't worry about my hair or makeup tonight!

Speaking of makeup, I compiled all of the makeup I wiped off over the month (well at least most of it):

Can you tell which days I wiped off my eye makeup? I opened an bottle of eye makeup remover I'd had on me for maybe a year on day 1 of my experiment and look at it now!

30 days of eyes rubbed raw

I'm really excited to be able to wear my warm red jacket, some comfy pants and shirt, and my good ol' Walmart shoes!

Day 29: snacks

Today I woke up at 11:40. I drank some wine and had cheese(goat cheese!) with Noah for Valentines and I was not ready to get up so early.

When I drink even a few glasses I have huge problems with eating the next morning. I also don't notice this problem until after I've eaten then all of a sudden I want to vomit. This morning I ate pot stickers and had a grande iced caramel macchiatto with an extra shot.

This was a really bad idea! While heading over to my house to do some homework we ended up parked on the side of the road with my head out the door vomiting!

When I got home I passed out on the floor for a few hours.

I watched "Becoming Jane" tonight. Nothing much to say, it didn't turn out to be the chick flick I was expecting. I think Jane Austen just writes the ideal chick flick that appeals to today's woman.

Tomorrow is my last day, and I plan to give it my absolute all. It's a school day unfortunately, so I can't do anything special

Day 28: Valentine's Day

Today I'm going to take a break from my usual girl blogs and dedicate this entry to my dearly beloved Noah.

On January 5th 2008, Noah kissed me for the first time. I was excited but scared, thinking I shouldn't get into a relationship right after coming out of one. I was sure that it wouldn't last, that I was making a huge mistake and I would lose him as a friend. But whenever we were together everything felt so right!

On January 8th, 2008, Noah told me he loved me for the very first time. I had been thinking it, but I was too scared and insecure.

February 14th we decided to finally make it official. I was so certain it would end, but it just got better and more amazing every day.

Just holding his hand feels like sliding into a warm bubble bath. We never ever get enough of each other. Even after spending every day together we feel like we haven't had time to appreciate each other fully if there's been a busy day.

Noah appreciates me for who I am, he embraces my flaws, loves them in fact. For instance, my overbite that I used to try to cover up, he thinks it's cute! I wish there was some way to convey to him how much he means to me besides fluffed up sentences and small examples.

The thing that makes me know that he's the one is that he loves my personality and intelligence far more than my looks. In fact, my body and face mean little to him at all. He tells me almost everyday something he loves about me.

Even when I make a fool out of myself, he makes it seem better!

I didn't have enough money to buy him something special, but this morning he opened the door with his arms piled with all of my favorite treats: potstickers, goat cheese, crackers, chocolates(milk free because I'm lactose intolerant) and a bouquet of roses!

He knows who I am and what I like and can always tell if I'm upset. I had a tendency to not talk about things that bothered me because I always assumed I was wrong, but his intuition brought my problems forward whether I felt like talking about them or not. I was forced to be completely honest with him and myself and it feels so amazing to know that honesty is so welcome!

Noah is a great man, his love, his kindness, his deep consideration, and his assertiveness have pushed me to become a person who believes in herself to go forward with her ideas and without him I would have never done this experiment!

My ideas and inspirations are welcomed and encouraged, he makes me feel like a smart person, a creative person, a good person. Without him I imagine that I would be going to college, jumping through the hoops, going through the motions, with no aim or passion.

our intimacy and trust knows no bounds, and I will never have such a connection with any other.

Noah, I love you so much! Adocleo, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Day 26 and 27: Chick Flicks

Day 26

Today I woke at 10 am. I had a meeting at school and nothing girly happened until I got home.

Yes, the picture is reused

When I went over to my house to visit I ended up watching "Pride and Prejudice" and "A Cinderella Story" on the Lifetime Channel.

Pride and Prejudice was a good movie. My boyfriend had never seen/read the story, he initially pouted and said that he hated "Victorian era" films. After a while, he gradually put down his DS and was absorbed. Noah ended up loving the film, the idea that a poorer woman was judging a rich man surprised him since he was expecting a cheap flick. I then realized the world of Jane Austen was invisible to many men.

Even me, someone who has never read a Jane Austen book knows of her incredible power over modern women (or at least Hollywood seems to think so). I've felt barraged by Jane Austen's film adaptations since 2005, seriously, click the link; since 2002 Jane Austen films and shows have been churned out nonstop!

Just a few of these films

I want to know why exactly this is such a hot topic now when it was really a pressing moral issue at the time these novels were published. From my uninformed assumptions; the women in these books are smart and require more than just a knight in shining armor.

There were also incredible social pressures for women to marry a rich man but never seem too desperate. These cultural expectations still ring true in our culture today, but why do we need so much reinforcement?

I'm definitely going to do some more research on this, but my personal biased and uninformed opinion about just why Jane Austen would appeal to today's culture filled with independent, smart, and classy women is that in this post-feminist era, is that it's more OK for women to become housewives and marry into money which has made the media retaliate to show that independent and smart women are still something to be desired.

The other film also reinforced this principle although it was heavily cheapened."A Cinderella Story"(see plot summary in hyperlink) also starred an intelligent and demure girl who ends up getting her "knight in shining armor" (AKA the football captain and hunky popular guy).

I sadly related somewhat to the film except for the happy ending part of course. I also had oppressive twin stepsisters and was the outcast in school. I even spent most of my socialization in my teen years talking to people on the internet!

When Noah and I got to his house later that night we watched an episode of Sex and the City. In the episode I noticed a very subtle detail. When the girls were out to lunch in one scene, Carrie and Samantha were sharing their meal! I also remembered an episode of Friends I'd seen where Joey hated sharing food with anyone.

My boyfriend Noah wasn't completely against sharing food, but at times he did glare at me when I liberally plucked some chicken nuggets from his plate.

From these few observations (and a few others I can't tangibly describe because they are such vague memories) it has gotten me to wondering if there is a hidden social standard that women share food and men don't. I honestly have no idea, but it's good brain gum for you all to chew on.

Day 27

Today I went out with some girls to get manicures. I decided since there were only 3 days left I'd get my acrylics removed and my nails painted red. I had no idea what I was getting myself into!

Now this blog isn't a business review site, but I have to say the service there was terrible! The woman who did my nails seemed to have no idea what she was doing, I just asked her the prices and she stooped her head down and just said "umm..." and that I guess was her answer. Now I understand that some people are shy but you're getting paid by me to get this done so don't put me in an awkward situation!

I had to dip my fingers in nail polish remover for the next 20 minutes. for those of you who have never encountered nail polish remover; it feels and smells very similarly to rubbing alcohol. My hands felt like they had been walking in the middle of the desert with no water for a few hours.

my "fingers dipped in rubbing alcohol" smile

She very gradually shaved off the excess acrylic and painted my nails. Usually they give you a little light chamber you put your hands under for about 5-10 minutes to get them to dry but she was finished as soon as the painting was done. Somehow I was expected to get up, grab my purse, reach in and grab my wallet, pay, then open the door, walk to the car, open the car door, start the car, and drive without even touching my nails.

Feels just as pleasant as it looks!

This was probably the most stress I've been through in a while. And of course, I didn't leave unscathed at all. I like the color though! I just wish it were shiny instead of scratched and pockmarked.

Now that my nails were back I was excited to put them to good use. I then realized why acrylics were so addictive; my nails were weak and brittle! Before I couldn't even itch myself properly but now I didn't even feel comfortable itching myself for fear that my nails would fold over on themselves!

My nails were once strong and independent, now they're fragile and needy! I can't wait for them to grow back!

Poor little guys!

I also watched 2 more chick flicks: "Valentines Day" and "Because I Said So".

Noah and I decided to watch "Valentines Day" not on Valentine's Day because everyone else would be watching it then and we didn't care enough to fight for tickets. I was a little worried because I saw on Cosmopolitan.com that it was an absolutely atrocious film. I thought to myself if a woman at the girliest magazine at all time hated the movie then why in the hell should I like it?

I was at an advanced stage of chick-flickitus though so I ignored the review. The movie was predictable as stated in the review, but it wasn't terrible. These flicks have definitely begun to wear at my proud resolve; for the first time I can recall I said "awwwww" in a movie, and meant it!

This makes me really disappointed in whoever reviewed the movie in Cosmo. I mean, they should know by now that most women readers would not be so picky in their films, and when does a magazine for women trash on films for women? Cosmopolitan isn't exactly known for their intellectual articles or deep questions of what is right or wrong. It just doesn't seem right.

I also watched "Because I Said So", and I realized I had peaked my chick flick fever. My reactions to every comedic moment were fully expressed by loud squeals and huge grins.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, so I hope you all enjoy it, I know I will!

Day 25: Looks

Today I woke up at 7. It was a pretty average morning, I'll spare the mundane details.

As I said before, this is the skankiest outfit I've worn this whole month, and so I decided to take on a skankier persona as well (kind of).

I realized while being glanced at by another man that I SUCK at the "come hither" or "eye sex" look. Maybe this is the reason all my friends get hit on and I don't? Whenever a guy, or rather anyone looks my way I usually look away immediately then look back and attempt a friendly smile realizing I must seem like a snob.

It's always incredibly awkward for me to walk past people, especially acquaintances. When it comes to nonverbal flirtation from across the room, which I sometimes try to do for the sake of trying, it always ends up me looking at the guy really blankly then looking past him.

I told Noah this and we tried eye sex looks back and forth. I either broke down laughing or just generally looked like an ass. Still, my new found confidence did seem to somehow gain me some new guy friends. It was either my exposed cleavage or my more desperate and less awkward approach.

Either way, while I may not have mastered this sexy stare, I still consider today a success. Now hopefully I didn't get any stalkers from it!

I realized from this that its ok to open up to other men. I don't need to constantly be on guard like every guy around me is a potential rapist out to get me. I think this girly naivete I maintain gains me friends without alienating others. I also don't have to avoid the subject of having a boyfriend around guys so as not to "upset" them as I used to.

From being girly I've learned that being open to as many people as possible is a great idea, and if they can't deal with the fact that I'm not going to get as cozy as they'd like, well it sure as hell isn't, and shouldn't be my problem.

Of course, this has been only one day of getting attention. I tend to get annoyed at too much attention from too many people. I hate it when too many people start wanting things from me (like time to hang out), it gets overwhelming. I think that's why I've never had many friends. I hate that about myself, its such an inefficient way to get by. Having lots of friends can get you places, plus there's a lot of people there to back you up when you're on the ground.

If anyone has advice on not only how to make friends but KEEP them let me know. I'm pretty sure the answer will require me to pick up the phone and call old friends but I'm hoping its something else. I think that's what really keeps me from having friends; I HATE calling people! I am terrified of it! I'm terrified of calling someone and hearing "Hey, thanks for FINALLY calling me (asshole)!" and looking like a jerk.

Maybe that's another reason I prefer hanging out with guys; they don't expect you to call them, ever! But I'm not a man, and I need to finally accept that fact and be a girl. Time to make some calls (tomorrow, no, next week)!

{not pictured}: same outfit for tomorrow as day 2's

Day 24: Slumped

Today I woke up at 7:49(late!!)! I rushed to put on makeup and somehow got to school on time but it was incredibly stressful.


I think this set the tone for the whole day because throughout it I felt really unhappy. I think this experiment is really wearing on me.

I think I failed at getting a supportive circle of girlfriends and it's hard to want to keep up with this without the feeling of belonging to something.

Maybe I'm just disappointed in myself for not going as far as I could have with this. I know that I had limitations but I'll never be able to replicate this again without already knowing what's in store for me.

I read an article in Glamour called "What his Valentine Gift says About your Relationship" it was funny how ridiculous and judgmental it was. You would think that girls would understand by now that guys don't leave subliminal messages hidden around their actions, girls to that! I mean, if a guy got her something really weird like knives its an obvious sign but roses and/or a box of chocolates doesn't mean anything.

By the way, this is the skankiest outfit I'll be wearing for the month (hopefully), so stay tuned!

I think I just need to take these last few days as seriously as I can. I feel like I've been slacking, and the slacking is putting a slump in my shoulders. I did this to learn, not to complain. Tomorrow is going to be a whole new day!