My Day
I missed breakfast, but luckily I had a protein drink stored in the backseat of the car.
I have to say, it's nice looking so good! But there definitely is a huge downside: I get stares AND glares! Typically stares from the opposite sex and other girly girls and glares from the women who are obviously the jealous types.
I got around to going shopping, and this time it wasn't so bad! I think I'm warming up to it! I went with my boyfriend and a girl friend as well, so she was a great help. It was nice to have someone who knew what to do! But I think I'm starting to catch on
Fashion tips I learned:
- It's bad to match your makeup with your outfit (I was aiming for the contrary before this!)
- Purple goes great with brown eyes
- Beauty is pain (I've heard of this, but today I learned it!)
And I went from no jewelry to this:
And now, along with my Bare Minerals I have a nice variety of colorful eyeshadows and lipgloss!
I'm sure there is a concern of the cost. This has been costly so far, but luckily I have some great people who are incredibly generous that want to help me in any way they can. I have so far gotten some clothing, jewelry, and makeup from some awesome people. And to anyone who is willing to help/ has helped, I just want to let you know that your support truly keeps me devoted to this experiment! Without the support I've received, I would have given up! After all, I am a college student with a low paying part time job; there was no way I could pay for a month's worth of girly clothing and accessories!
Revelations
What's so interesting about this is that it really shows the true nature of some people. They are judging me and they have no idea who I am as a person! Prejudice against the femininity adept may not be a prominent issue but it goes to show that we as people are full of prejudices against each other.
Overall, my friends were pleasantly surprised by my transformation. They thought I looked great, but I didn't change my behavior enough for my liking. I realized that I'm getting a little scared of becoming girly, of not being as fun to be around to my friends, and at times I think I overcompensate. Did I do this before I started the project? I have been uncharacteristically vulgar, and I think its because I don't like associating myself with girly girls because I'm treated differently, people I like being around tend to be more guarded around me.
I realized tonight that I need to fully embrace what will happen to me, or else I will be half assing this whole project, and prancing around in heels and cute clothes doesn't make me a girly girl. But what will it do to my friendships? to my relationship with my boyfriend? And what will I be when this ends?
I expected that I would learn to love this after the first week or two, and that after the third and fourth I would come to loathe it all over again. But what if I don't? Well, my backup is to be a man for the month after this (despite my boyfriend's objections).
I've noticed despite my denials I have developed some warning sign behaviors of a high maintenance girlfriend. My boyfriend went to a friend's house to pick up some makeup for me while I studied for a quiz the next day. I randomly got an impulse to call and check in on him, in the middle of the call I said "By the way, I'm not being controlling," because I was so shocked by my actions!
Later that night I was hanging up and folding clothes when I noticed a shirt he had was covered in little dog hairs. Normally, I would have shrugged and figured that when he put it on later he would wipe the hairs off but this time I thought to myself "there is no way he's getting away with saying that's a clean shirt" all the while I was hanging it up, completely stifling my irrationalities.
This may be attributed to the fact I'm PMSing though, so I shouldn't be too quick to say its my 2 days of being girly. Either way it's something I hope to never make a habit of!
It's really interesting to see the difference even my friends begin to treat me. I feel much more objectified, like I'm some sort of eye candy. I thought I would like that, but at the end of the day I feel kind of empty and sad. Even my boyfriend at times can't concentrate on our conversations! I feel myself being put into a label, being placed in a certain section of people's minds, like they see me now and think "Oh, its that kind of girl," for good or bad, its happening.
The reason I called this day "Judgement Day" is I realized that socially this was more than just becoming friends and generally associating myself with girly girls. I'm actually cutting myself off from certain types of people! Some people cannot accept me like this, they see me and how I dress and instantly write me off. I met a woman today and told her about my experiment and I could see in her face she was disgusted with what I was doing; not because she was offended by my idea, but because her first impression was of me like this and she could not take me seriously, even knowing that I wasn't always so done up.
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